What causes us to put people on such high pedestals? I just finished comforting a very close friend of mine because her scumbag boyfriend did what every scumbag does, and dumped her for a new sex toy. I tried explaining to her that he was a scumbag before. Before she got involved with him and before the landslide of events that just happened to her were set in motion but she refused to believe me.
It's always the same typical stuff when these types of things happen. "You don't know him like i do." Yeah, I don't and it's because i see him for what he is and not the charade he puts on for you to make you believe he's some sort of helpless romantic with a bad boy side.
It's this idolization of the people we view as attractive (for any reason, not just for physical appearances) That ends up hurting us in the end. We end up putting, for lack of better terms, a shit sandwich on a lustrous pedestal. We then proceed to elevate that pedestal to where it becomes far out of our reach. But we're so enamored by this shit sandwich and think so highly of it that when we begin to truly question whether it's as good as we make it out to be, we end up gravely disappointed. The real kicker is that it's a never-ending cycle.
I'm nothing special to this and neither are you. I'll gleefully admit that my last serious relationship consisted of me not liking the person then growing to love them over 3 years and idolizing them to the point that i considered suicide when they cheated on me, told me to my face, continued to cheat and left me. I was pathetic. I was an absolute disgrace to myself and I'm embarrassed to admit it to the open public but there it is.
I'm not entirely sure why we have such a conviction to idolize people to such an extreme degree but at some point we all need to grow up and stop hiding who we really are. Looking back at my ex, i realize that there really was no true connection. She was no where near the person i had made her out to be in my mind. Going back to my friend, her scumbag of an ex is a blatant womanizer. Every girl he's ever gone out with, he was romantic long enough to get some action then walked away from the following explosion of emotions without even glancing back. My friend was convinced, sincerely convinced, that he would change for her.
When he didn't change for her, she talked to him about it, they got into arguments and he played mister nice guy and buttered her ass-cheeks until all the dust settled and went back to his old ways. Maybe I'm a fool for refusing to be blinded by charades and scapegoats, but i can't be the only one.